Friday, December 5, 2008
My testimony, My Life...

God has done many things in my life. I am really thankful that He has indeed changed my life. Though I was a born a Christian, I never really got to know the Lord intimately until some circumstances in my life helped me to draw near to Him.

I remembered the day that I rededicated my life to the Lord. It was right after my O levels and many thoughts were running through my mind. I was thinking about my future, and I felt unsure of where God would lead me. At that point in time, I wasn’t really close to the Lord. It was like having the belief that there was a God, yet you are not really doing anything about it. I did not know exactly why I decided to trust in the Lord, but it was a certainly a decision that I did not regret. In my heart I was saying like, ‘God, if you are truly a God who cares for me, then change my life at this very moment.' It was like a sudden thought that triggered in me and right after I made that decision, my life was never the same again.

At the beginning of the year 2007, I received a call from my mum and she was telling me that she was diagnosed with breast cancer. I did not really know how to react to it. Now for a brief history between my mum and I. I was never really to close to my mum and I did not live with her for a certain period in my life. I stayed with my aunt for the most part of my life. I did not really like her because of the way she showed her love and concern for me. Hence, when I heard that she had cancer, I was rather confused to how I should react to it. However, God reminded me from the bible that I should love my parents and furthermore, love should be patient. I took this step of faith to visit my mum for the very first time since 7 years ago.

She was not in a very good state and though my heart was broken when I saw her, a part of me still felt cold towards her. However, I trusted in God that He will make things for the better. My father and I would try to visit her every time when we were free. I found it very hard to visit her each time because of the way she showed her love and concern for me. I really did not like how she was still treating me like a child but I made the effort to be patient with her. My mother was a Christian but some how along the way, she drifted away from God. Through her last days, I tried my very best to help her to believe in God once again and I succeeded in doing so.

On the very day before she passed away, she said something that really touched my heart. She told me that she knew that her way of loving me may not be something that I like, however she did try her best to change and asked me to forgive her for any hurt that she has brought upon me. Her last words to me were that she really loved me. It felt really different from the previous times that she expressed her love towards me. I had a sudden urge to just tell her that I love her too. There was this sudden breakthrough in me after saying that. I felt that something heavy in my heart has been lifted up. I knew that God was healing my heart at that very moment.

Though she may be gone, I know that she is with God at this very moment. If it wasn’t for God, I would not have forgave my mum and perhaps still carry a sense of hatred to my mother till this very day. A series of blessings, such as reconciliations, close friends as well as good grades, followed after that. Yes, there were other challenges along the way that I had to face, but I knew I wasn’t facing it alone. I know that God has always been with me in the past and He will be with me in the present as well as the future to come. He has been with me through it all and I really thank God for molding me into the person I am today. The person you see standing here today is a much, much stronger person than he was 2 years back.

Through brokenness, there was transformation. If you believe in God today, the very same God that has changed my life will changed yours too and I testify to that.

Aaron
The warrior of light

Labels: Devotion